Stop Judging! . . . Start KINDing!

stop judgingWithout a doubt the most inflammatory, self-defeating, ungodly activity that we do on a daily basis is JUDGING!  We judge our actions, thoughts, feelings, relationships, weight, image . . . the list is endless.

In coaching women in the area of weight loss, hormone balancing and inflammation, I never cease to be amazed at how harsh these women are on themselves.  Once they begin to recognize that judging impacts their weight and health issues, they become curious as to their options
What is Judging?

Judging goes beyond discerning and noticing.  Judging attaches an interpretation of identity, motivation and/or ability to a person, action or emotion.  It results in a person (usually you) feeling inadequate and inferior.  For this purpose, I’m not talking morals, I’m talking of that program that automatically shows up when we look in the mirror, open our mouths, interact with others or just go through our regular day.

What does Real-Life Judging Look Like?

I recently heard from a client who wrote:

“When school starts I’m looking at having to get up at 5:15 to fit in my routine. So far I can’t make myself get up that early – even when I go to bed at 10:00. I’m usually exhausted by 10 p.m.  What can I do?”

It isn’t difficult to see that she is pushing harder and harder to get more done and the result is more exhaustion. She has a job that matches her giftings and that she loved when she first started.  Now, a year later, her health issues have escalated, she is exhausted and she has come to hate her job.  She is HARD on herself and continually judges her actions as ‘not enough!
Sound Familiar?  Where are you pushing harder and harder?  Where are you exhausted and still looking at how to squeeze more in?

Options:  It is time to activate K.I.N.D.ing instead of Judging!

K         Kind to You

You can’t give to others what you don’t first give to you. If your dearest friend was hurting, how would you serve and love them?  How can you do that for you?  Could you be gentle and use a kinder voice?  Could you hug yourself and encourage yourself with a scripture, song or even a timeout for rest?  You can do that if you choose!

I           Imagine Options

Instead of immediately jumping to the judgment (stupid, fat, ugly, dumb – – you know the drill), what other words could you have available?  I know for me, when I feel ‘stupid’ I’m usually tired, haven’t eaten and feel overwhelmed.  Since I know I’m not a stupid woman, I now know that word is a trigger and I can choose to slow down, eat a meal and ask a close family member to remind me of what they most love about me.  The food, rest and emotional encouragement nourishes my soul and I skip the loop around Judgment Mountain!

N         Neutrally Notice

Once I have chosen to be kind to me and created some options, I have enough space to begin noticing patterns.  The more I can simply look at what is going on without attaching a judgment on my ability, identity or motive; I can learn from what is happening.  Once we judge, we activate the part of our brain that moves into reacting and default programming.  It shuts us out of that part of our brain that can discover, learn and grow.  Developing the ability to notice without judging will serve you in every area of your life!

D         Desire to Be You!

The kinder you are to you, the more you open the door to more fully becoming the woman God created you to be.  We aren’t perfect and never will be. IT isn’t about performance – – it is all about the process of learning and growing.  Give yourself the space to grow!  A whole new future awaits you!

Cheryl has released her online program to provide the Road Map to address Inflammation, Weight Loss and Hormone Balancing.  For a free video overview go to:

CherylTownsleyWeightLoss.com

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